A Kiss Goodbye
by Les of Chance
Summary: Buffy is faced with a terrible decision: to jump into the portal and die to save the world, or go off with her demonic lover. Which will she choose? This is the same story that I had on here before. Its just that ff took it off.


**Here is a one shot fanfic that I came up with listening to the radio. Les said to write something down so I have and WaLa! Hopeyou enjoy it and as always please Read &Review.**

**Oh, and none of these characters belong to me. I'm not even sure if the plot belongs to me because my understanding is that alot of other authors write about this aswell. Sorry if I have 'taken' your 'idea'. Also, these lyrics in the story are from Breaking Benjamin called "Sooner or Later". I'm hoping they go somewhat along with the fanfic. The song doesn't have much lyrics in them...alwell.**

**Now, enjoy the show!**

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"Spike you can't get what you always want!" Buffy's eyes grew hazed and puffy as the tears she was trying to hold back spilled over the rim of her eyes. She let them; she did not care if the blond vampire saw her cry anymore. Her feelings were out in the open and now they both had to deal with the oncoming tidal wave.

"Please, Buffy—"

Having Spike say her name and not the usual Slayer made it all too real. She had to interrupt him. She had to say her part before she fell head first into the abysmal unknown that lay ahead of her.

"Spike, listen to me," she reached out to touch his pale cheeks, but as her warm hand reached his cool skin he flinched. She backed away before continuing. "You know it has to be like this. You've known ever since you've met me. Now please, let me go"

"B-but I love you, Buffy. Isn't that enough. You just said that you loved me too." Anger boiled up inside his cold heart and before he knew it he was yelling at the top of his lungs. "YOU JUST CAN'T GO WALTZING AROUND LIKE NOTHING ISN'T GOING ON BETWEEN US!" Spike soon realized his mistake as he stared into Buffy's now, if possible, even paler face and he checked himself. "I'm sorry, love. I just can't go on like this anymore and—"

"How do you think I feel! I'm torn between two separate worlds. I just want to be **normal** Spike."

**I want a normal life**

**Just like a new born child**

**I am a lover hater**

**I am an instigator**

**You are an oversight**

**Don't try to compromise**

**I'll learn to love to hate it**

**I am not integrated**

"Buffy," Spike took a step towards Buffy and whispered gently in her ear, "Look up at me, love. Look." It wasn't a command as much as an offer. Buffy knew that as soon as she looked up into Spike's turmoil electric eyes that she had made a mistake, a terrible horrible mistake.

"Oh, William…" It was the first time ever that she had use his true name. His complexion faltered and that split second that it slipped, Buffy saw the truth in his eyes. His wanting, his yearning, his fear of loosing all he had to this one thread of hope. Buffy couldn't control her flowing emotions, and she closed the gap between the two of them pressing her lips firmly against his.

**Just call my name**

**You'll be okay**

**Your scream is burning through my veins**

A moan vibrated through Spike's chest, and Buffy could feel it through his lips. Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's middle under his duster. She lifted up his black T-shirt and slipped her hands through. Her hands ventured along Spike's cool skin leaving a trail of desire in its wake.

Spike gently wrapped his arms around Buffy's slim waist carefully, fearing he would break her. He cocked his head to the right and tasted Buffy's poisonous lips. After waiting so long to finally kiss her, he did not want to spoil the moment. He snaked his tongue out and pushed its way past Buffy's lips. She freely allowed it and opened her mouth wider for him to have free range. He plundered her mouth but making sure that he was not rushing things.

They stood there for what seemed like hours till finally Spike pulled away licking his lips and purring with satisfaction. Buffy was in a daze and her lips were swollen from the merciless attack. All seemed right in the world till her senses came back to her, and she realized what she had done.

She took a quick step away from Spike whispering, "No, no, no."

**Sooner or later your gonna hate it**

**Go ahead and throw your life away**

**Driving me under, leaving me out there**

**Go ahead and throw your life away**

Spike took a slow step towards Buffy and asked, "What's wrong, love?"

She gazed up at him from between her fingers. Buffy shook with rage for letting him get to her like that. She turned abruptly and stalked away towards the portal, but before she took three steps, a hand firmly grasped her dainty wrist and spun her around.

Buffy looked up at Spike with up-most disgust and raised her hand to slap him. Just as it was coming down upon his cheek he blocked it with his free hand and grabbed that wrist as well. She was trapped now, but she continued to wiggle in his grasp trying to get away.

"Let go of me, Vampire."

The venom in her voice seeped into Spike's pores, and the affect it had on Spike was clear. He let go immediately. Buffy was shocked that he let her go, and she just stood there staring at him with disbelief. Her mind raced. She just could not figure the blond vampire out.

"Stop with the games…Slayer, and go. You know what you have to do," he taunted Buffy with her own words.

Spike really did not know what he was expecting the Slayer to do. Half of him cried for her touch while the other half screamed for her to fall through the portal and die.

Buffy continued to stand where she was. She did not know what Spike wanted her to do. It seemed like part of him wanted her to leave forever through that portal while another half wanted her to just be in his arms again.

"Did you hear me, _Slayer_? I said **Go.**"

**You're like an infantile**

**I knew it all the while**

**You sit and try to play me**

**Just like you see on TV**

**I am an oversight**

**Just like a parasite**

**Why am I so pathetic**

**I know you won't forget it**

Buffy gave a deep sigh. She continued to stare at Spike because it was plain that he did not what her to leave him.

Spike wanted her to be in his arms. He wanted to carry her off to safety like some hero, but he can never be the stereotypical hero. He was a creature of the Night. He was a vampire, the exact opposite of a hero. The hero was the guy who saved a girl like Buffy from **him**, a useless, disgusting, and dangerous vampire.

"Spike." Buffy dared not to say his true name like she did before. That would only cause more tension. Unnecessary tension.

Buffy really did not know what was holding her back from just jumping off the roof of the building and into the portal, but she could not draw her eyes from Spike's tear filled ones. He was trying his best not to cry. That was evident, but what Buffy needed the most _was_ to see Spike cry. She wanted to know that he could cry. That he could actually care so much as to cry for her, but it never came.

Spike mustard up what was left of his dignity and pride saving it from being shred to pieces by the Slayer, and he stood up to his maximum high of 5'8". He took a deep unnecessary breath to clear his head before speaking.

"Alright, Slayer. I guess I best be going so that you can do your…your little thing that you have to do." He gave his all too well rehearsed smirks before continuing. "Yup, so I'll be going now."

He paused before adding in a more clamped husky voice, "Goodbye…Buffy."

**Just call my name**

**You'll be okay**

**Your scream is burning through my veins**

Spike turned his back sharply on Buffy making sure she could not say anything else, and he stalked away towards the stairs with his duster billowing behind him. Buffy collapsed and realized just what she did.

"I love you, William. Please don't leave me," she whispered to herself just as Spike reached the door that led to the stairs. He paused with his hand on the door knob when he heard her whisper. He realized that was for her ears only, and he cursed his vampire enhanced hearing.

His shoulders slumped forwards as he pulled the door open, but before he walked through he turned and replied, "No Buffy, **I'm** not leaving you. **You're** leaving me."

With that he walked through the door and closed it behind him.

Buffy was left alone on the roof of the sky scraper with only the portal as her relief. She took in a deep breath and stood up. Her legs could barely support her weight as she dragged her feet over to the edge. With one final sigh, she closed her eyes seeing Spike's face in front of her, and she fell through the portal with her arms out stretched whispering his name.

**Sooner or later your gonna hate it**

**Go ahead and throw my life away**

**Driving me under, leaving me out there**

**Go ahead and throw my life away**

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Very short, yes, I know. But we do hope you liked it. Yes, I do have a fetish with doing stuff in **bold** but alwell.

Please R&R.


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